Unswervingly, but not.

Over the past week, I feel as though I have somehow been brought back to the place I was in last time this year. Last year, when I was preparing to move to the Philippines and start this journey, I was so excited, hopeful, and invested in the road ahead, but I also struggled with quite a bit of doubt. I had $15,000 to raise in 3 months. A task that seemed impossible. I often felt very overwhelmed by that number and it was a challenge to live in faith that this would come to fruition. I am again feeling very challenged by this task, even though the number is now a smaller $6,500 left to raise for this semester. I wish I could say that I always trust completely that I will again see provision and will be able to go back to finish this task, but honestly, I don't. I'm human. My faith falters. Doubt creeps in. Distrust overwhelms.

As I was driving into the Soo from my sister's house 20 minutes outside of town the other day, I was hit with the idea of “what if I can't go back?”. My heart broke and I sobbed as I drove. That was a thought I hadn't faced in a long time, yet it was still hiding somewhere deep in my mind. After the tears and hysterics dried up (thankfully before I got into town and looked like the crazy crying lady in my car), I was able to come to peace in the fact that whatever reality I face in the next few months, it does not change who God is. Doesn't change that he is faithful. Doesn't change that he provides. Doesn't change that he is in control. Doesn't change that I can trust him. The only thing that changes is that I, again and again, learn to live in surrender knowing that his plan is greater.

Daily I am challenged to trust that provision will come. I am always facing my own kind of impossible. It's not comfortable, and it sure isn't fun. But it is stretching, it's character building, and it is so darn amazing when the “impossible” is proven wrong. I woke up this morning determined to live in the possibility rather than not and came across this verse:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Unswervingly can be an intense word. I feel a lot more swervingly than un. However, I can hold to the fact that he who promised is faithful. Unswerving means to remain constant and steady. Constant and steady, regardless of the uncertainty surrounding me. Challenging? yes. But through Christ and him alone - possible.

 

I have always promised myself that in walking this journey of support raising, living in the Philippines, serving God on the mission field he has placed me in, and learning to practically share the love of Christ through midwifery care, that I would be honest and transparent. This is what that looks like. I'm not always together, my faith isn't always strong, life isn't perfect - surprise surprise :) But, it is GOOD, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Where it's at:
In order to go back to the Philippines to continue serving and finish my training, I need to raise $6,500 still. That is $1,500 down from my semester goal of $8,000. This is due on Aug 1st. The next fees, of $8,000 again, will be due on Feb 1, 2015. It's a long road ahead, and I know that. But every cent has been provided before and I am believing it will again.
If you are interested in partnering with me, any amount goes a long way! Just click the donate button to the right and let me know if you have any questions. If you would like to chat more about the work being done, I would be more than happy to do so!


Thanks for reading, friends!

A

Culture Shock - sort of

Hi Friends,

These blogs are usually written from my cozy bunk in the Philippines, often after a long day when I feel the desire to unload some stories and catch my Canadian friends and family up. This one is being written from the comfort of my Mom's kitchen. Very different, yet equally special places. I have been back in Canada for 17 days, and have loved every one of them. It is surreal, yet normal to be home. My weeks have been filled with visits, coffee, good food, and lots of travel. I have covered a good bit of Canada in the past 17 days and I am very thankful to have the freedom to do so.

People have asked often how I am dealing with culture shock. To be honest - I'm not. Truly through the grace of God, the adjustment home has been pretty easy. There are some things that shock me a bit, and there may or may not have been a minor meltdown over $6 Greek yogurt at Superstore, but other than that, it is just really great to be here. In preparing to come home I was praying a lot about a smooth transition. While on my long flight home, God spoke to my heart about expectations. I think that has made things so much easier. Canada is not the Philippines and the Philippines is not Canada. Each are beautiful in their own right, and I love them both for that. Things can be appreciated much more when not in constant comparison to something else. More than just with culture shock, that has been a good reminder for me in many areas of my life.

Fundraising:
I am so excited to update that I have now raised $1500 towards my goal of $8000 this semester. Through the generosity of three people, I now only have $6500 left to raise. The remainder of my funds is due August 1st. That date is fast approaching and while my tendency is to stress and worry, somehow I have felt such peace about it. I have so many stories of God's faithfulness to look back on and I know that he will keep adding to those stories.

Will you considering partnering with me over this next year? Your support goes towards the clinic fees that I pay to be there. The clinic fees go directly towards ensuring that our patients can receive excellent midwifery care while also being shown the love of God by practically being his hands and feet in their time of need. Practically loving women through midwifery care has a greater impact than I ever could have imagined, and it is such a privilege to be a part of this.

Your support, whether monthly or one-time, $20 or $2,000, goes so far and is always received with immense gratefulness. You can simply click the "Donate" button to your right, or talk to me if you have any questions at all!

Below is a video that I think does a great job of explaining more about the importance of midwives... It's 3 minutes well spent! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxbL6bF5vxU

Much love,
A

Home Soil

I'm HOME! Sort of.

After a very long, close to three days of travel, I have touched down in beautiful Canada. The unfortunate thing is that I touched down slightly (almost 3 hours) behind schedule which resulted in missing my flight to Kamloops. So here I sit, in the Vancouver airport, with a belly full of a twelve-grain toasted bagel with plain cream cheese, trying to embrace the fact that my trip has not ended as planned. However, it is just an addition to the adventure and after a few meltdowns and more tears in public than I am proud of, I decided I should probably use this time productively (in the hopes that it will go by faster!)!

It's crazy to think that I am actually home... for me anyway. May flew by so quickly and it didn't leave much time to process what it would be like to be here again. Though even if I had the time, I don't know that I would have been any more prepared. I'm sure in a couple days I won't feel like the crazy person sitting here thinking "there are white people everywhere!!!!!".

Since I am going to be seeing most of you wonderful people who read this blog within the next couple months, I don't want to over talk you... but instead would like to share a couple of memorable times from the month of May.

The first was the birth of this adorable girl, Mae Diane. She captured my heart quickly, as well as everyone else around. Despite the cleft lip, she was breastfeeding within minutes, which we were all thrilled to see! I had the chance to visit her and her mom at home last week and was very happy to see how well she was doing. She is gaining weight well, eating like a champ, and looking cute as ever. They are currently moving towards surgery to correct the cleft lip. Prayers for provision regarding this surgery would be so appreciated!

Second was the birth of this other cutie! They named her Alexis Francine. "In remembrance of you ma'am" is what I was told when I asked the name. Such an honor. The birth of Alexis came after a long labor watch. Her mom came in labor around 10:30 of Wednesday morning, and Alexis finally made her appearance at 8:51 of Thursday morning. Her mom was quiet amazing and there were many time that I wondered if she was going to get to the place where she wasn't smiling continually. She did, but not for long. The smiles came back so quick after Alexis was born.

 

 

And last, but not least, little Dan. Or not so little Dan. He is one healthy boy! Everyone spent so much time admiring his baby rolls. We love the chubby babies! His beautiful mother, Mercy, was one of my continuity patients who we ended up having to transport due to PROM and mec staining. Dan was delivered by CS, and as you can see is doing so well! This was his 6 week check and I was so thrilled to be able to see them before I left. During their visit, Mercy asked me if I would like to be one of Dan's Godparents : ) It is truly such a special thing to be a little part of this time in someones life, and to see that continue even past their 6 week check. It's an honor.

 

 

 

 

I love looking back over all the babies and mothers I have met in the past year and am excited for what the coming year holds. The miraculous provision that has occurred through out my time so far in the Philippines has amazed and humbled me. I am so grateful for everyone who generously support this time. I am excited to let you know that so far, $1,000 has been raised toward my goal for the next semester. That means there is only $7,000 to go! I'm sure "only" might not be the word that comes to mind, and it isn't naturally the word for me either. However, what is a huge sum to me is pennies to God. He has been so faithful, and he will continue to be faithful. Of that, I am sure!

 

Your continued prayers for provision would be so appreciated. If you would like to support in anyway, you can click the "Donate" button, or just ask me and we can figure out what is easiest.

 

Thanks for taking a few minutes to read this!

 

Much love,

A