The importance of language... as seen through my eyes (or heard through my ears).

Words carry weight, right?
I think that's something that we can all agree on. Whether positive or negative, the words we use can affect people or situations. Do you often think about that? I sure don't! While I'm not exactly what people would call the "outspoken" type, I certainly can't say that I always put consideration into the words I use. This is something I've been contemplating a lot in not only the past months, but years really. If you feel like walking through those contemplations with me, keep reading. If not, I'll never know anyway ;)

I have been really blessed throughout my life to have friendships with people who really value words. People who consider the affect that language can have and strive to use words that will correctly express what is being said.
For example, what would you think if I said that midwives deliver babies? Do you agree? I sure don't! I have spent enough time around birth in the past year and a half to understand very well that midwives do MANY things but none of those things include "delivering" a baby, unless it is their own child. Some people may go even farther and say that women don't "deliver" babies, they "birth" babies. There are pretty popular bumper stickers amongst birth activists saying "Babies aren't delivered.... Pizza's are!" I'd say that's pretty accurate (I'd also say I'd LOVE to have some pizza delivered right about now, but I'll stick to the point). If I, as a midwife (sooooon!), were to say I delivered a baby, I would feel that with the language used I am taking WAY more credit for all that work than I deserve. I'm not gonna lie... Midwifery is really hard. But birthing a baby is so much harder. I think that women deserve to be empowered through birth, therefore, I'm careful about the language I use as I feel that it carries weight. Make sense?

Ok. Let's transfer this concept biblically!

If you know me well, you know that I love Elevation Church and Pastor Furtick's sermons. He said something in a sermon last week that really challenged me and brought me back to this whole point on the importance of language, or words. He was talking about Ezekiel and the Valley of Dry Bones. Now let me tell you, if I were in that situation and God told me to prophesy to a bunch of skeletons I would be like "Heck no, Lord!". I have a hard enough time speaking life into smaller situations. Looking at a bunch of bones and prophesying that they will come to life is a BIG DEAL! There have been some big things that I have had to believe for in the past few years (such as finances to be here), but nothing like that! One of the points that Furtick made with Ezekiel's story is that Ezekiel spoke TO the dry bones, not ABOUT the dry bones. That hit me in the face like a good hard God brick.

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!

This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.

I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and

you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.' "

Ezekiel 37: 4-6

 

I am really good at talking about whatever valley of dry bones I may be facing, but I am lacking when it comes to talking TO the bones. How much would change, I wonder, if I altered my language (and thus my heart, possibly) a little bit more to match Ezekiel's gumption? Would it bring more hope to a dire situation? Would it put the "bones" back in the hands of the giver of breath? Would I see life come from these "bones", whatever they may be? I think I would. I think WE would.

What are your "bones" right now? What do you need to alter about the way you speak TO your situation? Maybe nothing. Maybe something. That's for you to decide. I, for one, will continue to be challenged to consider the power of the words I speak, whether to people or to situations in my life. God didn't give us communication for nothing, my friends!

 

 

Anyways, that's it for my musings today :) I'll move onto some other things of importance.

I am currently 7 weeks away from my LAST payment for clinic fees being due. Doesn't seem like a lot of time, but it is certainly enough. Unfortunately, due to the relatively horrible exchange rate (my fees are due in USD), I have had to add a little bit extra to my budget. Instead of $8,000, I need to raise $8,500. I didn't consider the exchange rate enough with the last payment, thus forcing me to really consider it this time. However, I am very stoked to report that I have already received some very generous donations and am now needing to raise only $7,200!! Amazing eh? While that number still seems a tad large, I know it's do-able!

Besides a small amount needed for a flight home next year (which I will talk about in the late spring), this is the final stretch in fundraising! I know that I have said these things over and over again, but it's important to remember that your donations go directly towards supporting the clinic that I work with here, allowing us to provide excellent midwifery care for the women of Tabuk and surrounding villages.

 

I have been so blessed by all the people who have believed in and supported the work being done here, and I would love if you could continue in that with me. Your support, from $10 to $1,000+ goes so far and is received with a very grateful heart. If you have any questions about supporting, please contact me. I would LOVE to talk with you. To donate, just click the PayPal button on the right of this screen or e-mail me for other options.

 

 

Thanks for spending the time reading! Much love to you!

A

Christmas time is here... almost.

It's almost December!!! EEE! While I have been in full Christmas mode for well over a month now, I understand that not everyone shares in that with me. Therefore, I can be excited that all you Grinches who do not celebrate until Dec 1st will soon join me in rockin' the Christmas spirit ; )

The past 7 weeks have been quite full and it's hard to pick out the details to share. I was able to spend a wonderful week in Bugnay near the end of October. It was fun, relaxing, and a good break from the norm. I always look forward to my time spent there. The weekend I got home all the staff and volunteers at the clinic had the opportunity to do a shoulder dystocia (a complication in birth resulting from the baby's shoulders getting stuck somewhere in the pelvis) workshop with Gail Tully (www.spinningbabies.com). Gail is a very respected midwife who specializes in "spinning" babies into optimal positions for birth, as well as techniques to resolve shoulder dystocias. We first watched a workshop video, in which our hearts all stopped as it showed a dystocia that was over 6 minutes, and then had a Skype call with Gail the next evening to ask any questions. It was such a great learning experiences and we were all thankful that Gail was so willing to share her wisdom with us.

Shock, awe, and nervous laughter while watching a VERY long dystocia.

Life continues to be filled with amazing moms, adorable babies, and jamming my brain full of as much information as possible. I honestly feel like the more I learn, the less I know. My great friend and now certified midwife, Aisling, says that's a great place to be - that it keeps us humble as midwives. I sure hope she's right ;) I do find though, that the more I see and learn, the more hungry I am to continue learning. I'm pretty thankful for that fact.

Besides all the learning, I'd have to be honest and say that I've been struggling quite a bit. I don't say that to evoke pity from anyone, instead I just ask for your prayers. I LOVE my life here and have nothing to complain about, at all! However, that hasn't changed the fact that I have been feeling so emotionally exhausted. I'm sure you can all relate to that feeling. I've come to the place more than a few times where I feel like I have nothing to give, no words to say, and no energy to put into anyone or anything. I've felt empty and unable to refill. Thankfully, I serve and am loved by a great God who does that refilling for me and is right there in the midst of any struggle. I am in a place where I want to be able to pour God's love into the awesome women I am around, and your prayers that I would continually be able to do that would be so appreciated!

And to add something really important to that prayer list...
Meet MJ!

My amazing continuity patient delivered this adorable little guy last week. Before I tell you more about him, let me just brag for a minute about his mom. MJ decided to make is appearance a little bit "late" so we were in the position of needing to try a bunch of techniques to get labor progressing. His mom was amazing! Her and I had quite the fun time walking up and down stairs, and up and down again, and again... Not gonna lie - my legs were sore!
In the wee hours of the morning, we welcomed MJ to the world. He was born with a complete cleft lip and palate. As you can imagine, this poses some breast feeding challenges. While he is able to breastfeed a little bit, he is not able to get as much milk as he needs from the breast on his own. Amazingly, Georgia had a connection to a clinic in Manila who had just received some donations. Included in those donations was a special bottle made for babies with clefts. This clinic sent up the bottle as well as a breast pump for MJs mom to keep. The picture is MJ trying the bottle for the first time. He did so well!! His mom and I were very proud. I'm so thrilled to report that MJ is now gaining weight and so far has been a very healthy little guy. I'd love it if you could keep him and his mom in your prayers. Please pray that she would feel loved and supported as she faces these special challenges, and that MJ would continue to gain weight and remain healthy!

The past week has blessed me with two other adorable babies born to awesome Momma's! :)
It's hard not to love what you do when you are surrounded by these little ones...



RJ



Chad Beau

That's all for tonight! Thanks for reading :)
Oh, and to my American friends, Happy Thanksgiving!!

Much love,
A


Letting go...

Happy Belated Thanksgiving to my Canadian Peeps!

I hope you all had a great weekend celebrating with family and/or friends and were able to indulge in some pumpkin pie. Maybe even with vanilla ice cream. Mmmm.

Life has been pretty great over here on the other side of the world. Us few Canadians (plus the other Americanos!)cooked up some traditional-ish food and we enjoyed a meal together with the Abundant family. It's hard to be away from home during holidays, but I am so thankful for the laughter and hilarity that fills my home here. It makes everything much easier.

A constant theme in my life over the past 6 weeks has been this idea of letting go. And let me tell you... I'm not very good at it. I am a champ at clinging to things that I have no control over, mulling over situations in my head for days, letting my mind wander to all the possible scenarios that could happen if things don't go exactly how I would like them too, etc... You would think that I would have learned this lesson over the years of always having to LET GO, but nope. My thick skull takes work, but God keeps on going with the lessons. Let go and Let God, right?

Yesterday was one of those lessons. I was on morning shift, as per usual on Wednesday's, and was excited when a labor came in around 7:30am. She was such a gem and was working through contractions really well. Unfortunately, her blood pressure was quite high. Over the next few hours we tried everything we could to stabilize the BP. It would stabilize for a while, and then jump right back up. Through this all, she labored beautifully and was such a joy to work with. Eventually, we had to make the decision to transport her to the hospital. I hugely dislike transporting. I think all midwives do. But there are some cases where labor jumps outside the realm of normal, and we have to let go. Whether we want to or not, we have to make these decisions. I don't want to let go. I don't want those patients to have to go somewhere else. I want to be able to change the circumstance. I want to have more control. But I don't, and I can't. So I must let go. I have to trust that God is taking care of the situation better than I ever could and that He will continue to do so whether at Abundant or at the hospital. And he did. This morning I was able to go visit a beautiful little 3.4kg baby girl, born to my patient about three hours after we transported her. Mom and baby are doing very well!

The lessons of letting go don't stop with clinic work, but roll over into so many areas of my life it seems. But that's ok. I know that God is in control and that I can do very little by clinging to things with my little (but strong!) fists.

Next week I am heading up to the clinic in Bugnay... and I am so excited! I get to hang out with the awesome folks up there, hike up into some other villages, do well-woman appointments, and enjoy the mountain air. I will bring back some stories and pictures to share.

In the meantime, I'd love to share some prayer requests with you!

• For the clinic, as always. I am SO blessed to be a part of this amazing ministry here and love to see it prosper.
• For our patients - health for moms and babies.
• It is almost time to begin fundraising for my LAST semester. Yes, LAST. Crazy, eh? I will need to raise another $8,000 to finish out my time here. It will be due Feb 1st. Prayer for provision would be amazing!

Love you all!! Thanks for reading!

A

Adjustments

Hi Friends,

I'm sitting here in my room watching a crazy lightening storm (and a few episodes of Friends) and relaxing before night shift, so it seems like a pretty good time to write a quick update. I've had a ton of things that I have wanted to blog about in the past month, but haven't yet been able to put the proper words to my thoughts, so I just haven't blogged any words... Maybe those thoughts will come together in time.

August was a month of adjustments for me here. Adjusting to the heat again, getting used to always being sweaty and the amount of water to drink to avoid constant headaches, adjusting to my favourite Irish Aisling leaving, thus making Edolbina and I the second years (yikes!), getting in the swing of assignments and clinic work again, and adjusting again to being so far from Canada. I struggled a lot in the first weeks back, wishing that the places and people I love were much closer to each other, but that's not the reality. So in the meantime, I will embrace where I am at, knowing that in just over a year it is going to be my lovely home here that I am missing in the same way that I miss Canada now.

I came across a quote today that pretty clearly explained the way I feel... I wish I could have put it into words like this myself, but someone else did the trick nicely.

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will

always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness

 of loving and knowing people in more than one place."

 

In other news - gosh I'm so happy to be back to baby catching! I missed the moms, the bellies, and the baby's while I was in Canada. Every day I feel so fortunate to be here, doing what I love and have dreamed of for years! As this year goes on, I would so appreciate if you would keep me in your prayers. Pray for the clinic, for the patients we see every day, for the babies we help welcome into the world, and for the amazing midwives I get to work with.

Oh! and please enjoy the fall for me!!!! I have been dreaming of wearing sweaters, scarves, and boots. Strange? Maybe. But I would say pretty typical for a fall/winter girl living in an endless summer.

 

 

Much love,

A



Home in the Phils

After a few long days of travel, I finally made it back to Tabuk! And I am so thrilled to be back.
Jet lag is currently taking over and I am seeing hours of the morning that I only wish to see when there is the promise of a new baby, but I am sure in a couple days my body will settle into normal routine here again. I am loving the familiarity of the heat, reliance on a fan, the sound of Filipino tv shows, and the excitement that the first of the month brings faster internet.:)

It is often surreal thinking about being back for second year, and that the next time I come home, I will be finished this program. Crazy! Last year flew by, and everyone says second year goes by even faster. While the appeal of home (of the Canadian kind) makes me wish the time will fly, my love for this place begs for the time to stand still. After a couple years of constant countdowns it seems, I've decided that this will be a year of no countdowns. I even deleted my countdown app ;) I intend to enjoy this year in it's fullness, making the most of the time and experiences I have here knowing that God has brought me here for a purpose. I can't wait to share the stories of second year with you!

As I write this, the sun has just risen on August 1st. The day my next set of clinic fees are due. As it stands I am still $1,500 away from meeting that goal. A daunting number maybe, especially considering the day. However, it's not an impossible number. There is nothing impossible about this. I have seen that to be true time after time, and I know that provision and faithfulness will continue. Will you pray with me to see that provision?

Before I go, I'd like to explain to you a little bit about these clinic fees. Tuition comes along with being a student, right? Not here. Instead, our "tuition" is in the form of clinic fees. These fees that are paid on Aug 1st and Feb 1st of every year in the program go towards sustaining the clinic that I volunteer and am trained at. It's actually pretty cool how it works. Each time a birth happens, I am able to see these finances at work. These fees help the clinic to run smoothly and ensure that we can continue to provide excellent midwifery care to the women of Tabuk and surrounding areas, while practically sharing the love of Christ with them.

I'd love if you would prayerfully consider partnering with me in this! That can be done by clicking the Donate button to the right, or, if you have questions about alternate donation methods please e-mail me at pagnucco.alexandra@gmail.com. Your monthly or one-time donation, whether $30 or $300 goes far towards seeing these goals met!


Thanks for reading!
A

Almost there...

5 days till I get to jump on a plane to a place I've been missing lots!
Until then, I am enjoying my last few visits with some pretty amazing people :)

My recent 30 hour drive west to Calgary (my last stop in Canada) gave me some much needed time think about the year ahead. While I am in a much different place heading back as I was when I first went, there are some things that are still fresh on my mind. Last year I stepped into this completely green in so many ways. I had never seen a birth. I had never been around a laboring woman. I had never lived in a foreign country. I had never needed to trust God so much to provide financially. I felt ill-equipped and empty handed. You'd think I'd be done with feeling that as I step into my second year, but apparently that isn't the case. What has changed though, is the perspective that God has given me in regards to that. I had the chance to share a bit of this perspective when I was back in Kamloops, but haven't spoken much of it since. Bear with me as I explain.

I have had the joy of learning over the past year, that no matter how ill-equipped or empty handed I am, God never sees me as such. When thinking about this, the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 came to mind. When you read this story in John 6 it talks about how Philip, when Jesus asks him "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?", responds rather incredulously that "it would take more than half a year's wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!". He's feeling pretty empty handed at this point I'm guessing. Then Andrew pipes up to say "Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?". They are not even close to equipped to handle this crowd. But you know what is really awesome? Jesus never looked at this situation and felt empty handed. He is the one who fills the hands. He is the one who equips. All he asked is that his disciples would be obedient in following him and in that, they became part of a freakin awesome miracle. He filled my hands and equipped me to get through my first year, and as I go into this second year, I know he will continue to do so. I find a lot of encouragement, and quite honestly, relief in this fact! Maybe you will too...


Before I began my trip home 8 weeks ago, I was in the position of needing $8,000 in clinic fees and very minimal expenses to continue working and training in the Philippines for the next 6 months. The clinic fees go directly towards ensuring that our patients can receive excellent midwifery care while also being shown the love of God by practically being his hands and feet in their time of need. Practically loving women through midwifery care has a greater impact than I ever could have imagined, and it is such a privilege to be a part of this. I am now in the final stretches, needing only $1,930 more to meet the goal! Seeing this provision is something that constantly amazes me. I know that God is faithful and that he will provide, but it doesn't take away the awe of it when it actually happens.
If you are interested in partnering with me in this, you can click the Donate button to the right. Whether monthly or one-time support, every bit makes a huge difference! Please contact me if you have any questions!

Much love,
A

It's that time again...

The goodbyes have started, quite sadly.

Besides saying goodbye to my wonderful friends in Kamloops, the past few days marked the start of the hugs, the tears, the "see you later's", and "the time will go by so fast!". I know the time will go by so fast. It already has. Yet, there is still a sting in having to say goodbye to friends and family. In the same breath, the closer I get to being back in my own bed in the Philippines, the more excited I am. It's a strange thing having so much of your heart in two very different places.

Over the past couple weeks, it has been absolutely amazing to see provision of finances continually come. There are few words to say besides, God is so good and Thank you! To the people who have supported me, whether prayerfully or financially, I am beyond appreciative. It is because of your generosity that I am able to continue the work and training in the wonderful little place of Tabuk. I am so excited to be able to go back, connect with my past patients, and care for new ones!

Just two weeks ago I was still in the position of needing about $6,000 to return to the Philippines. I am now only needing $3,100!! Pretty crazy if you ask me! While I often find support raising to be the hardest part of this whole journey, it is also very exciting. Every day I live in the reality that God's provision is so great. I will continue to trust that the remainder will be provided, and again that the last set of fees in Feb will also be provided. He is faithful :)

If you are interested in supporting my work as a missionary midwife in the Philippines, you can click the donate button to the right.
OR
You can also go to the GoFundMe page set up by my wonderful Aunt!
 http://www.gofundme.com/b28avs.

AND
If you would like to read a great story about a birth I had the privilege of being a part of, check out www.gthemidwife.com


Until next time,
A

Unswervingly, but not.

Over the past week, I feel as though I have somehow been brought back to the place I was in last time this year. Last year, when I was preparing to move to the Philippines and start this journey, I was so excited, hopeful, and invested in the road ahead, but I also struggled with quite a bit of doubt. I had $15,000 to raise in 3 months. A task that seemed impossible. I often felt very overwhelmed by that number and it was a challenge to live in faith that this would come to fruition. I am again feeling very challenged by this task, even though the number is now a smaller $6,500 left to raise for this semester. I wish I could say that I always trust completely that I will again see provision and will be able to go back to finish this task, but honestly, I don't. I'm human. My faith falters. Doubt creeps in. Distrust overwhelms.

As I was driving into the Soo from my sister's house 20 minutes outside of town the other day, I was hit with the idea of “what if I can't go back?”. My heart broke and I sobbed as I drove. That was a thought I hadn't faced in a long time, yet it was still hiding somewhere deep in my mind. After the tears and hysterics dried up (thankfully before I got into town and looked like the crazy crying lady in my car), I was able to come to peace in the fact that whatever reality I face in the next few months, it does not change who God is. Doesn't change that he is faithful. Doesn't change that he provides. Doesn't change that he is in control. Doesn't change that I can trust him. The only thing that changes is that I, again and again, learn to live in surrender knowing that his plan is greater.

Daily I am challenged to trust that provision will come. I am always facing my own kind of impossible. It's not comfortable, and it sure isn't fun. But it is stretching, it's character building, and it is so darn amazing when the “impossible” is proven wrong. I woke up this morning determined to live in the possibility rather than not and came across this verse:

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Hebrews 10:23

Unswervingly can be an intense word. I feel a lot more swervingly than un. However, I can hold to the fact that he who promised is faithful. Unswerving means to remain constant and steady. Constant and steady, regardless of the uncertainty surrounding me. Challenging? yes. But through Christ and him alone - possible.

 

I have always promised myself that in walking this journey of support raising, living in the Philippines, serving God on the mission field he has placed me in, and learning to practically share the love of Christ through midwifery care, that I would be honest and transparent. This is what that looks like. I'm not always together, my faith isn't always strong, life isn't perfect - surprise surprise :) But, it is GOOD, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Where it's at:
In order to go back to the Philippines to continue serving and finish my training, I need to raise $6,500 still. That is $1,500 down from my semester goal of $8,000. This is due on Aug 1st. The next fees, of $8,000 again, will be due on Feb 1, 2015. It's a long road ahead, and I know that. But every cent has been provided before and I am believing it will again.
If you are interested in partnering with me, any amount goes a long way! Just click the donate button to the right and let me know if you have any questions. If you would like to chat more about the work being done, I would be more than happy to do so!


Thanks for reading, friends!

A

Culture Shock - sort of

Hi Friends,

These blogs are usually written from my cozy bunk in the Philippines, often after a long day when I feel the desire to unload some stories and catch my Canadian friends and family up. This one is being written from the comfort of my Mom's kitchen. Very different, yet equally special places. I have been back in Canada for 17 days, and have loved every one of them. It is surreal, yet normal to be home. My weeks have been filled with visits, coffee, good food, and lots of travel. I have covered a good bit of Canada in the past 17 days and I am very thankful to have the freedom to do so.

People have asked often how I am dealing with culture shock. To be honest - I'm not. Truly through the grace of God, the adjustment home has been pretty easy. There are some things that shock me a bit, and there may or may not have been a minor meltdown over $6 Greek yogurt at Superstore, but other than that, it is just really great to be here. In preparing to come home I was praying a lot about a smooth transition. While on my long flight home, God spoke to my heart about expectations. I think that has made things so much easier. Canada is not the Philippines and the Philippines is not Canada. Each are beautiful in their own right, and I love them both for that. Things can be appreciated much more when not in constant comparison to something else. More than just with culture shock, that has been a good reminder for me in many areas of my life.

Fundraising:
I am so excited to update that I have now raised $1500 towards my goal of $8000 this semester. Through the generosity of three people, I now only have $6500 left to raise. The remainder of my funds is due August 1st. That date is fast approaching and while my tendency is to stress and worry, somehow I have felt such peace about it. I have so many stories of God's faithfulness to look back on and I know that he will keep adding to those stories.

Will you considering partnering with me over this next year? Your support goes towards the clinic fees that I pay to be there. The clinic fees go directly towards ensuring that our patients can receive excellent midwifery care while also being shown the love of God by practically being his hands and feet in their time of need. Practically loving women through midwifery care has a greater impact than I ever could have imagined, and it is such a privilege to be a part of this.

Your support, whether monthly or one-time, $20 or $2,000, goes so far and is always received with immense gratefulness. You can simply click the "Donate" button to your right, or talk to me if you have any questions at all!

Below is a video that I think does a great job of explaining more about the importance of midwives... It's 3 minutes well spent! Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxbL6bF5vxU

Much love,
A

Home Soil

I'm HOME! Sort of.

After a very long, close to three days of travel, I have touched down in beautiful Canada. The unfortunate thing is that I touched down slightly (almost 3 hours) behind schedule which resulted in missing my flight to Kamloops. So here I sit, in the Vancouver airport, with a belly full of a twelve-grain toasted bagel with plain cream cheese, trying to embrace the fact that my trip has not ended as planned. However, it is just an addition to the adventure and after a few meltdowns and more tears in public than I am proud of, I decided I should probably use this time productively (in the hopes that it will go by faster!)!

It's crazy to think that I am actually home... for me anyway. May flew by so quickly and it didn't leave much time to process what it would be like to be here again. Though even if I had the time, I don't know that I would have been any more prepared. I'm sure in a couple days I won't feel like the crazy person sitting here thinking "there are white people everywhere!!!!!".

Since I am going to be seeing most of you wonderful people who read this blog within the next couple months, I don't want to over talk you... but instead would like to share a couple of memorable times from the month of May.

The first was the birth of this adorable girl, Mae Diane. She captured my heart quickly, as well as everyone else around. Despite the cleft lip, she was breastfeeding within minutes, which we were all thrilled to see! I had the chance to visit her and her mom at home last week and was very happy to see how well she was doing. She is gaining weight well, eating like a champ, and looking cute as ever. They are currently moving towards surgery to correct the cleft lip. Prayers for provision regarding this surgery would be so appreciated!

Second was the birth of this other cutie! They named her Alexis Francine. "In remembrance of you ma'am" is what I was told when I asked the name. Such an honor. The birth of Alexis came after a long labor watch. Her mom came in labor around 10:30 of Wednesday morning, and Alexis finally made her appearance at 8:51 of Thursday morning. Her mom was quiet amazing and there were many time that I wondered if she was going to get to the place where she wasn't smiling continually. She did, but not for long. The smiles came back so quick after Alexis was born.

 

 

And last, but not least, little Dan. Or not so little Dan. He is one healthy boy! Everyone spent so much time admiring his baby rolls. We love the chubby babies! His beautiful mother, Mercy, was one of my continuity patients who we ended up having to transport due to PROM and mec staining. Dan was delivered by CS, and as you can see is doing so well! This was his 6 week check and I was so thrilled to be able to see them before I left. During their visit, Mercy asked me if I would like to be one of Dan's Godparents : ) It is truly such a special thing to be a little part of this time in someones life, and to see that continue even past their 6 week check. It's an honor.

 

 

 

 

I love looking back over all the babies and mothers I have met in the past year and am excited for what the coming year holds. The miraculous provision that has occurred through out my time so far in the Philippines has amazed and humbled me. I am so grateful for everyone who generously support this time. I am excited to let you know that so far, $1,000 has been raised toward my goal for the next semester. That means there is only $7,000 to go! I'm sure "only" might not be the word that comes to mind, and it isn't naturally the word for me either. However, what is a huge sum to me is pennies to God. He has been so faithful, and he will continue to be faithful. Of that, I am sure!

 

Your continued prayers for provision would be so appreciated. If you would like to support in anyway, you can click the "Donate" button, or just ask me and we can figure out what is easiest.

 

Thanks for taking a few minutes to read this!

 

Much love,

A

 

 





Countdowns

25 days friends! But who's counting ;)
In a very short while I get to jump on a plane home to see family and friends, drink coffee, meet my niece, celebrate a wedding, wear scarves, eat the food I've been missing, etc (these are not listed in order of importance). I'm sad to leave my home here for two months, but am certainly grateful for the blessing of a break.

Since booking my flights home for the summer, there has been this unwritten list of "big things" that were happening before I came home. It included things like how many assignments were left, going to Davao, going to Sta Ana, visitors coming up from Davao, and last but certainly not least, Edolbina (my fellow first year and dear friend) having her baby. Well, that last one has happened!! On April 29th, in the wee hours of the morning, I had the immense privilege of helping to welcome baby Ariel to the world. The story is Edol's to share, but I will say that I am so thankful to have been a small part of this moment in her life. I am thrilled for her and Andrew and their new addition. So thrilled, in fact, that I must share a picture.

Ari - 2 days old

With home being on the mind, there are a couple prayer requests to include:

• I plan to be in the Soo for about one month (June 16th - July 15th), and then in St. Catharine's for the couple weeks following, before I head back. Some travel plans may be changing and while I was supposed to have a vehicle for those weeks, that may no longer be possible. While I understand that it is a lot to ask, I also know that it never hurts to ask as God is a God of details and this is one he can take care of! :) If you are able to help out in this, or know of someone who may be able to, please let me know! And in the meantime, can you please pray with me that these details would work out?

• Finances for the next semester. As I talked about in my last blog, I am needing to raise $8,000 for the next portion of my time here (Aug 1-Feb 1). This amount goes towards my clinic fees, as well as a very small amount for living expenses. My clinic fees go directly towards ensuring that Abundant (the clinic I work, live, and train at) can continue to provide exceptional midwifery care to the women of Tabuk and surrounding villages. For more information, click here. Every $ counts. When broken down, my goal could be reached if just 200 people donated $40! Would you consider being one of those people?

• As time goes on and financial deadlines come up again, doubt creeps into my mind more than I'd like to admit. I have absolutely no reason to doubt that God will provide everything, as he has time and time again. I have no reason to doubt his faithfulness. Yet, there are days when I look at what needs to happen and feel completely overwhelmed. So, I'm asking for your prayer in that. Please pray that doubt would not be a factor, that there would be complete assurance in his provision, and that I would feel encouraged instead of overwhelmed.

• Pray for the midwives here at Abundant. I am going to miss these amazing women while I am home! My first year here would not have been the positive experience it has been if it were not for every one of them. They have blessed my life so much! They are each incredibly skilled midwives, they have such patience with teaching, and they graciously welcome new people into their home quite often. They are also just a blast to hang out with! Please pray for continued blessing over each of their lives : )

Thank you for your prayers, your support, and for taking the time to read this. It means a lot!

Much love,
A

Adventures, Fundraising, and Faithfulness

I'm sitting here with a blank mind, staring at my computer screen thinking "where on earth do I start?". I guess this should be my lesson to not leave so many weeks between blog posts : ) The past 6 weeks have flown by, as per usual. March brought the excitement of the birth of my beautiful niece Charlotte, a twin birth(so amazing!), a trip to the beach with the whole gang, one of our staff midwives giving birth to her first baby, and our longest assignment yet! April hasn't slowed down much either as we have been busy with fellow classmates from Davao visiting. After spending time in Davao, it's really exciting to have girls come up here too and get an idea for how we live. We may all be learning the same things, but our day to day lives are very different.

Maybe pictures will be a better representation of the past 6 weeks...

Aisling and I thoroughly enjoying the beach! (Thanks to Ashley for sending the best sun hat to me! xox!)

 

Everyone at the beach!





My continuity patient with her newborn son. (Sadly, I was away in Bugnay when she delivered)

One of my two Easter babies, little Valerie. She is wrapped in one of many blankets
that came in a wonderful box from Canada this week.

The twins, Irish and Iliza, their parents, and some of the Abundant midwives.

The beautiful girls on the night they were born. Both so healthy!



It appears we have a new mascot! A little goat was waiting for Edol, Rebekah, and I on our nightly walk.

While two of the Davao students were here, Danielle and Tori, I had the opportunity to take a couple days away with them and head up to the clinic in Bugnay. I hadn't been back to Bugnay since the first time in September, and I was thrilled to go! While we were there, we spent a day driving/riding motors/hiking to a more remote village called Loccong, to do outreach (devotion, pre-natals, and health teaching). The trek there didn't go quite as planned, but it turned out to be even more fun in my opinion. The girls from here kept talking to me about our options to get to Loccong in the week leading up to the trip. It was (1)Drive a bit, hike the rest of the way, hike back, or (2)Drive a bit, take motors, hike back. Obviously one option stood out to me more. The motors. The motors would be way too scary, I was told. Perfect. Loved that option even more. Unfortunately, option 1 was chosen. Sunday morning came, and we began our drive up to Butbut Proper, the village from which we would hike to Loccong. About 10 minutes from Butbut Proper, we hit a snag. They were doing construction on the road and had decided to lay concrete... right in the middle! This left us with one viable option (one option was walk...), wait for motors to come pick us up. Needless to say, I was thrilled!! Let me tell you, the girls were right when they said it was scary. If you have seen the series Long Way Around or Long Way Down, try to picture the off-road conditions that Charlie and Ewan always complain about. It was worse. And on a huge incline. And with a sheer cliff on one side for a good chunk of the ride. But gosh, it was awesome! It's moments like those where I stop and think "Is this really my life?!". I feel immensely blessed to be able to experience little adventures like that, while on the way to visit pregnant moms and love on them. It's a life richer than I could have imagined.
Here are a couple pictures from that weekend:

Waiting for motors to come and pick us up

Demonstrating positions for delivery - such as Hands and Knees

Tori, myself, and Danielle with some of the mothers in Loccong

The beautiful rice terraces hiking home :)

Quick break on our hike!

We made it... such a fun day!

When I think back to this time last year, it's amazing to me that I was just starting to fundraise and plan for the excitement ahead. And exciting it has been. It's crazy that I get to come home soon for a break, and then come back in my second year! The home stretch. It is also crazy to me that it's time to start fundraising again for the year ahead. I can't lie - this part is hard. It's so challenging. You think that it would get easier, and maybe it does, but I haven't experienced that yet. However, through the challenges, I have grown and learned lessons (well, I try to learn them anyways, but sometimes it takes a couple tries!). Important lessons about God's faithfulness. About how I can trust him completely. About how he brings things to completion. About how his plan is so very good - so much better than I can plan myself. I'm sure life would be easier if I just learned all these things the first time around, but what can I say - I'm human. I know that while the number may seem great and the task too much to bear at times, He has conquered it all already.
With that being said, this is where I am at:

• Many of you probably do not know yet that I will actually be here until sometime in October of 2015. While I was supposed to be finished in early August, some things were switched around with our class such as getting an extra month off in the summer, which means that we are needing to stay until a little bit later. Due to this, my budget has increased slightly. Very slightly.
• For the next portion of my time here (Aug to Feb), I am needing to raise $8,000. This amount includes all of my clinic fees, as well as a small amount for living expenses. These fees are due on August 1st.
• Raising this money, while still challenging at times, has taken on a whole new life to me than last year. Last year I could only imagine how far this money would go. This year, I can see it with my own eyes. It has been absolutely amazing to be here, working with these women day in and day out, and seeing the benefit of supporting this clinic. It truly makes such a difference. My clinic fees go directly to ensuring that Abundant can continue to provide women with highly necessary maternity care, in a faith and care centered environment. I have always thought that midwifery was such a practical way to be the hands and feet of Christ, but over the past year, the truth of that has really been brought to life. And I am so thankful.
• When I fundraise, I'm not just asking you to believe in and support the journey that God has me on, but I'm asking you to support the ministry of midwifery that I have the privilege to be a part of. My true hope is that you will look beyond me, and see the babies and mothers that we serve here at Abundant. It's about them. Not me.
• If you want to read up more on the work being done here, check out www.gthemidwife.com

How can you help?

• One-time donations, monthly donations, bi-monthly donations - really whatever suits you!
• Every $ goes far. Feel like donating $30 a month for 14 months? We can set that up!
• If monthly isn't your thing, your one-time donation of $5-$500 (or whatever works for you!) is so welcomed.
• Pray. Prayer is key. Pray with me that these finances will be provided so that I can continue my work here. Pray that we will continue to see growth and blessing over the clinic. Pray for our patients.
• Have questions or suggestions? Please contact me! I would be so happy to chat with you!

Thank you for supporting me in everything thus far. It's quite awesome to look back on all the things that have been provided in the past year that have allowed me to actually be here! I was able to raise enough for my entire first year, and then also received such generous support when some pretty large financial issues (needing a new computer and the visa process being much more than originally planned) came up. God is so good and I have no doubt that provision will continue!

Thanks for reading, friends! See you in Canada soon!!

Much love,
A

'What are you called?' vs. 'What is your calling?'

Hi Friends!

I can't believe it is March 12 already! Yikes. It's actually a little scary how fast time is flying by. Won't be long now before I am on a plane home for a nice break this summer.

The past couple weeks have been busy, full, and refreshing! Edolbina, my classmate up here, and I were finally able to make the trek to Davao to hang out with the rest of our class for just over a week. This was our first time being together as a complete class, and first time I have been reunited with the girls who were able to go to the Oregon orientation before flying here.
Can I just brag a bit?
My class is stellar. Seriously. These women blow me away. Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way, and they all manage to complement each others strengths and weaknesses with such unity. It was such a joy to be around them. I don't say it lightly when I say that I am immensely blessed to be learning and growing alongside them not only as a midwife, but as a woman.
Here is a couple pictures of our time together:

Baby shower for Edolbina

Edol and I survived IV insertions... and we still love each other!

We all passed IV class thanks to our amazing teacher, Joy!

The whole class. Some of the best women I know :)

 

 

 

As much as I loved our time in Davao, I was very excited to be back at home in Tabuk. I had missed the girls here (especially their roaring laughter while watching Showtime), our patients, my bed, and the fresh "mountain" air.

 

 

Some thoughts:

I've been thinking a bit these days about identity. The topic came up a couple times while chatting with girls in my class as well. Identity is a tricky thing. I've always thought so anyway. My life here is very much focused around midwifery. Obviously. Which I love. Midwifery can be an all consuming thing. There can be (and if we are completely honest, IS) a heck of a lot of pressure to eat, sleep, and breathe all things pregnancy, birth, and baby. Sometimes it's pressure from peers, sometimes it's pressure we place on ourselves. I have come to the place a couple times where I felt that pressure was overwhelming. There is a strange sense of guilt felt when maybe you actually don't want to read another book about birth, or you don't hear angels singing (cut me some slack. I'm allowed to exaggerate a bit!) when you palpate a 36 week belly and the baby kicks you (which is so cool), or maybe, just maybe, you get sick of so many birth blogs on your facebook page and go on a deleting rampage. I started to wonder where that guilt came from and after some prayer, thinking, and some great conversations with friends, this is where I have landed:

 

I am Alex first. And a midwife second. I cannot eat-sleep-breathe midwifery, because when I do, I loose sight of who I actually am, why I want to be a midwife, and why I love it. Do I feel like this is my calling? Well, yes. I believe without a doubt that God has brought me to this place and that he is the one who placed this skill on my heart and cultivated my passion for it. But, if I loose sight of what God calls me (my true identity), then I miss the fullness of the "calling". Does that make sense even with the somewhat cliché terminology?

Midwifery is about a whole lot more than the knowledge of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. It's about being with people. Building relationships. Being a trustworthy, reliable person. It's about being relatable. It's about humility. It's about selflessness. It's about embracing differences. It's about strength.

What I have come to is that - I am not able to be the midwife that I want to be if I loose sight of who I am outside of midwifery. If I am not first a person who women can trust, then I can't build relationships. If I am not about to humble myself, then I will not be respected. If I am not able to be selfless, well, then I'd get more sleep ;)! If I'm not able to embrace differences, then that cuts me a way from pretty much everyone. This could go on, but I'm guessing you get it.

Don't allow yourself to be so consumed by your "calling", that you forget what YOU are actually called.

 

I'll finish with that. It's just my thoughts, my challenges, and my opinion. Take from it what you wish :)

 

Please continue to pray for the work being done here at the clinic. It is such an honour to be a part of things here and to see the real impact this clinic has on the lives of our sweet pregnant women around Tabuk!

 

Much love,

A

 

 

 

 



 

Living Simply...

Hi Friends,

Again I find myself writing this much later than I would have hoped. I'd love to be one of those people who could write something every two or three weeks at least, but with the amount of writing that I do for my studies here, my brain can't always find useful or exciting things to say when it comes to blogging. Words often fail the experience of this place.

Today we celebrated Kalinga Day! Well, it's officially tomorrow, but today we were able to see a parade and the playing of 1000 gongs. It was amazing. Made me fall in love with Kalinga even more. Different tribes from all over the province of Kalinga came together today to celebrate unity and reconciliation. This celebration involved tribal dancing and the playing of the gongs. It was cool to see each tribe pass in the parade, each looking similar with their dress in beautiful Kalinga colors and fabrics, and also similar in their playing of the gongs and dancing; yet, there was still something that set each tribe apart. After the parade, everyone assembled at the Capital (it's like a huge dirt arena). They had a ceremony, sang some songs, then had all the gong players come into the center of the arena. As ALL the gongs played together, they moved the formation to say Kalinga Shines. To finish things off, they lit a torch in the middle of the area to signify unity of the tribes. It was awesome to watch (and it was almost consolation for not being able to watch any of the Olympics)!



Dancers and Gong Players

 

 



Walking with what felt like all of Tabuk up to the Capital... 

Something that has been on my heart in the past couple months has been the idea of living simply... what does that mean, and how does it look? The fact that I should write about it was solidified today when a lady sat down beside me at the Kalinga ceremony. After comparing our skin colors and asking if we could trade, she asked me all the other usual questions... "How long are you here for?" "Did you marry here?" "How old are you?" and, most importantly "Do you like Kalinga?" My response to that is always an enthusiastic "Yes! I love it!", because I really do. This place is amazing and I'm thankful to be here. She responded to me with beautiful words "We live a simple life here, but we are very happy".

It is a simple life here. It's true. But the longer I am here, the more I realize that that is the best possible life I could choose for myself. Don't get me wrong though, I don't believe that living simply is measured by material possessions or lack there of, but rather, the importance that is placed on those possessions vs. other, more lasting things. From what I have come to see here, people don't define their lives based on what they are lacking, but instead what they are RICH in. They are rich in family, rich in friendships, rich in quality time, rich in sharing their lives. The kids of our neighborhood are not always whining and complaining for a new toy, instead they recognize that they have two flip flops and many flip flops between them and their friends, and thus, a game is born! Would a new toy be welcomed, of course! But it is not the focus. This isn't a want vs. need discussion as I am sure if we are all honest with ourselves, we understand where that line is drawn (even though we rarely draw it), but more a question of what is important to you? For the kids, playing with their friends is MUCH more important than the prospect of a new toy. For me, living the life that God has placed in front of me fully is much more important than the financial or material security that I find when I am home (as appealing as a splurge at JoeFresh may be!). Financial security is not wrong, it's actually quite valuable (which is something I can say with a LOT of experience to back it), but has it become your main priority? Material possessions are not bad, but what drives you to them? I'm not trying to drastically change the way you think as I don't believe that is my place. But in sharing what is on my heart, I hope that it provokes thought. I hope that when I do come back to Canada, that I will be able to say "I live a simple life here, but I am very happy".
(Take a read of Matthew 6:19-21... it's a great reminder).

I'll leave you with a little update on Birth Sponsorships :) January was a wonderful, productive month, made even better by the response to birth sponsorships. I'm thrilled to say that 17 births of my goal of 26 were sponsored. How great is that. It is so fun to be able to send little footprints across the ocean to those who have sponsored, and from what I hear, it is also fun for them to be received. Thank you for continually being a part of the things happening here at Abundant. It is such a blessing. If at any point you would like to sponsor a birth, it is always welcomed. The cost is $80-100 CDN and, as said before, I will send you footprints and a little story about the birth you sponsored. When you donate, please specify "birth sponsorship" in the PayPal message.

As always, fundraising is an ongoing thing in my life for the next year and a half still. It is not my favorite part of this journey. In fact, it's my least favorite. However, it is absolutely amazing to see God provide in some crazy ways. I have no doubt that that will continue as time goes on. If at any point, you feel that you would like to donate to my time here and the things happening at Abundant, it will always be welcomed with immense gratitude. Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions at all regarding specifics.

Much love to you!
A

OH! How could I forget.. such exciting news. I booked my trip home for the summer! Thankful for God's provision of a great flight. Can't wait to see everyone and a bit of a Canadian summer!!

Happy New Year!!

I seem to be a tad late in writing this New Year blog. Really I'm just working on Filipino time, which quite conveniently is very similar to Pagnucco time.

It's hard to believe the holidays are over already! I am savoring the last couple days of assignment free life here. It's been grand. Our New Year celebration at the clinic was one of my favorites ever. We had an easy meal, enjoyed each other's company, and watched some fantastic fireworks from the rooftop. I'm talking fantastic. It was such a relaxing night... truly a perfect way to ring in the New Year. The only not perfect part was that the fireworks seemed to never end. Even the next day there were still firecrackers going off everywhere. They like to celebrate here :)

I love the excitement that a New Year brings. And the reflection on the year past. Whether it's been a hard year or a wonderful year, there are always things that you can find to be thankful for. Looking back over 2013 is a bit crazy for me. I think of where I was this time last year, and I honestly could not have guessed that I would be sitting here on my bunk in the Philippines writing this. I dreamt for it, prayed about it, and hoped for it... but it still came as such a surprise. I am often surprised, or amazed really, that I get to be HERE! I'm going to avoid saying it's a dream come true because, well, it's massively cheesy ;) But it is a huge answer to prayer. God placed this on my heart quite a few years ago and I'm so glad 2013 was the year it came to fruition.

2014 brings freshness, new excitement, and new challenges. There are SO many things to look forward too, and so many things to accomplish. I am eager to see this year unfold, but certainly not wanting it to fly by too quickly.

This year also brings my 26th birthday. In 16 days to be exact. I'm not a huge birthday person. I never really have been. I like quiet celebrations with people I love... and maybe some cheesecake. My un-interest in birthdays has never been because I feared getting older. I figured that was a silly fear to have since I can't change it anyway. That silly fear hit me like a ton of bricks this year. I know, I know. 26 is not a big deal! I'm not examining my face for wrinkles, or worrying about the grey hair that I seem to be finding more frequently. The problem is... 26 is not a big deal. Up until now there have been pretty fun, significant birthdays. 18 is great cause you're an adult (HA!), 19 you can enjoy some wine, 20 gets you out of the teens, 21 brings enjoyment of wine in the US, 22, 23, and 24 are somehow equally exciting and pass by SO quickly, and then comes 25! 25 is a great year! But then the next big birthday is 30...

The early twenties are filled with excitement, pain, lessons, and adventures. I learned so much about myself in that time. A lot of it I wish I could have learned the easy way (is there an easy way?), but I would not trade the hard parts for anything. I want the next 5 years to be equally significant. So, with that being said, lets start with 26!
As you all know, there are costs to me being here, and costs to running a clinic such as this. The majority of my costs go directly towards ensuring that we can provide exceptional maternity care to the women who come through our doors, as well as the surrounding villages. It is a huge blessing to be able to see the generous support of you, my friends and family, put to work here in Tabuk.
Each prenatal done, baby born, and post-partum visit is made possible by the support of so many people around the world. When costs are broken down, it is averaged that each birth costs approximately $80-$100CDN.
So here is my proposal... 26 births for my 26th birthday.
It is not a present to me, of course, but a way to continue to be a part of the work I am doing here. Should you choose to sponsor a birth, I will send you footprints of the baby as well as a little write up about the birth and how the family is doing. Why not start your new year off contributing to bringing a new life into the world? :)
It is an amazing thing to be a part of birth, in whatever capacity that may be. When compared to North America, the cost is miniscule, but the gift is GREAT!

Please consider partnering with me in this and helping reach the goal of 26 sponsorships before January 31! It is super easy to do. Just click the donate button to the right of this post to sponsor through PayPal. In the 'message' box with PayPal, please write Birth Sponsor. Should you prefer other methods, please e-mail me at pagnucco.alexandra@gmail.com. If you have any questions at all, please just pop me a message. I'd be happy to chat!

Happy New Year friends!
I pray you will all see blessings, provision, and joy in this year ahead.

Much love,
A

Prayer Requests:
- healthy mom's and babies!
- health and normalcy for a patient of mine who stole my heart from her first prenatal! She has a history of stillbirth and is very nervous about this pregnancy. Your prayers are so appreciated.
- provision of 26 birth sponsorships!

Happy Mom, adorable baby, and thrilled midwife :)

Baby Lebron

Christmas morning at the clinic with Andrew and Edol

 

 


Aisling, Madra, and I celebrating New Years!

 

 

Christmas Eve with the gang, including Aisling's friends from Tacloban.
(Aisling, Dave and Dagmara, Deborah, Andrew, and Edol)